Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The Names Have Been Changed To Protect HUGH BITCHES

Hi XXX,

I would like to give you my honest opinion of the party we had on Saturday so maybe it can be improved in the future. I really really wanted to like it, but it lacked real creativity. The only times the boys laughed were when the scientist dropped some of the products on the floor and a fly got caught in the putty she was making - 6 year old boy humor. They also like fart humor. Perhaps you could work some of that into the presentation as well. I actually made a comment that she could dropped as much shit as she wanted if that got the boys to laugh. Unfortunately, it only happened twice. We weren't looking for a ton of laughs, but if she hadn't made errors not a chuckle would have been heard! Not many wows either. The balloon experiment and fire experiment were the only real winners. Everyone has the soda bottles with colored liquid in their preschool classrooms and some of the mom's have even made them at home. Couldn't you have found something more exciting to do? The whole thing lasted 45 minutes, maybe less since it takes a few minutes to get the boys together.

It was a drop off party and only two mom's stayed for the scientist - we were laughing at how 'not so entertaining it was'. She seemed annoyed that we were standing in the back laughing at her, but she's an entertainer. She should be able to deal with heckling. The boys seemed to like it, but weren't overly excited. This target audience can get wowed very easily and this party didn't seem to bring out too much enthusiasm. More explosions? Parents have since asked me if this would be a good party to have for their child (who isn't thrilled to have a science party). I can honestly say I would not recommend this particular science party. I am being very honest because you would never be aware of this if you didn't get feedback from people like me.

Thanks again for all the work you did for us. We will probably never use you again.

Best Regards,
YYY
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Dear YYY,

You are a bitch. I would prefer to call you a "big fucking C-word", but I think that might be too inappropriate. It's too bad we live in a society where just about ANYONE is allowed to have children if they so choose. If I ruled the universe, I would institute a policy where couples must apply for licenses to have children. I would personally make sure that you never received one. If parents were found to be big fucking assholes like this, their licenses would be revoked and their children taken away. Perhaps a hefty fine as well? I would also like to see jail time for such offenses, but I gotta be realistic.

I am amused by your comment that your "really really wanted to like it". I get the impression that you're a sour, unhappy bitch who is trapped in a loveless marriage and have shit-eating spoiled children. I can understand that you're reaching out for things in life to make you happy because you are so utterly UNHAPPY. I can't help but feel sorry for you. You know what you need? You need a coke habit. It's done wonders for me. I've never been happier in my whole life. You should also try whoring yourself out. It sounds like you need a regular pounding. I get that myself, but thankfully, I don't have to whore myself out to get it. But hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Thanks again for choosing XXX XXXXXXX.
XXX

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear God, what the hell do you do for a living? ;) I wish you'd thrown in the C-word, it's a personal favorite. Cheers!