GOING HOME!!!!!!!

Days until launch: 1!

24 hours from now, I will be leaving my house to catch my flight to California. I've been counting down the days for a couple of months now. On Saturday, I will be driving my rental car from Davis, CA to the Black Rock Desert 100 miles north of Reno, NV.

I'm freaking out... so excited. I've got sweaty palms and butterflies in my stomach. I am particulary excited for this year because it's been two years since I've been out there, and this will likely be my last trip to Burning Man. As awesome as it is, I simply can't afford to do it again. I definately could have spent less money on the trip, but there are certain things that I just had to do... like buy space on the Boston shipping container. I figure that I could spend a simliar amount of cash on a trip to somewhere I haven't been before so I decided to really go all out this year. I've also had a rough week, and I need to get out there as soon as possible... need to leave my troubles behind.

One of the nice things about going to Burning Man is that I will be completely occupied for 10 days. It's like being brain-washed. Because I will be off the grid entirely, it's actually hard to think about my problems in "the default world". It's pretty insane to think about how isolated and disconnected we are out there. During my last trip out there in 2005, Katrina hit New Orleans, and no one heard anything about it for days.

This should be my last post for a couple of weeks. I'm sure I will have lots of stories and pictures to share once I return... and after I sleep for a few days.

GOING HOME!!!!!

Where will you be 10 years from now?

It doesn't really matter where in the lower 48 states you are on August 21, 2017... as long as you are there looking up! Ten years from today there will be a solar eclipse across North America!!! Depending on where you are, you will see a partial or total solar eclipse. If I am anything like I am today, I'm guessing I will be out there with my solar telescope having a big party. See you in ten years!

Dr. Strangelove Quote Rings True

Major T.J. "King" Kong: "Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff. "

Or a few good days out at Burning Man with all that stuff. Too bad they've banned firearms. I also recommend more than one issue of prophylactics!

The Cool Stuff Katy Saw

I realized that I need to start logging all the cool stuff I see in the night sky with the telescope (or in some cases without...). I had the telescope out Saturday and Sunday night this weekend, and I don't want to forget the cool nighttime objects. So here is the first installment of "The Cool Stuff Katy Saw".


Here is a list and some descriptions of things I've seen since purchasing my telescope in March 2007.

• Saturn. Could see the rings and it looked fake, like an orange sticker.


• The Moon. Can easily see small craters and texture along the rim of the moon's surface from craters and mountains. Also noted last night, that along the edge of the shadow, it appears that there are more craters. However, my uncle and I concluded that it's only because the shadows are longer the closer they get to the edge of the darkness (just like on Earth approaching sundown). The craters appear more numerous there.


• The Sun. The real reason I bought the telescope in the first place. 2007 has not been very active because we are just coming out of the solar minimum. I've got high hopes for next summer. Solar maximum is due in 2011, though. Horrible timing for me! With my Solar Continuum Filter, I can see some granulation on the surface of the sun.


• Venus. Bright and fairly blurry.


• Mars. Red and fairly blurry.


• Jupiter and four moons. Definitely impressive. Could see cloud bands on Jupiter, but no red spot as of yet. Four moons are usually visible. Sometimes only three because one is in front of or behind the planet.


• Uranus. First sighting on 8/18. Not impressive because my telescope isn't that nice! Blue dot.


• ISS and Space Shuttle Atlantis (mid July '07 I think). Saw the ISS and Atlantis two night before the Atlantis returned to Earth. It was especially cool because the shuttle was doing de-orbit burns. Very impressive!


• ISS and Space Shuttle Endeavour (8/18 and 8/19). On Saturday 8/18, the two were still docked and floated overhead around 8:50pm. Very bright! On Sunday 8/19, the shuttle had undocked from the ISS, and the two trained across the sky around 9:15pm. That was amazing to see the two gliding over together. They got about 2/3 of the way across the sky when they disappeared... out of the sunlight. One more sighting due TONIGHT Monday August 20th. If you are in the Boston area, look up at 8pm. If you are elsewhere, go to http://spaceflight.nasa.gov/realdata/sightings/ and plug in your location.


• The Double Cluster. Really cool! Two groups of stars next to each other. Cannot see the clusters with the naked eye!


• The Butterfly Cluster. Also very cool! The cluster of stars resembles the outline of a butterfly.


• Dumbbell Nebula. Blurry, but cool to know what you're looking at!


• Andromeda Galaxy. Again, blurry, but cool!


• Ring Nebula. Wicked awesome. Very faint, but you can definitely make out the ring shape.


• Random meteor. While aligning the telescope on 8/18, had my eye on Altair, getting it centered, when a meteor streaked across the telescope view!!

Really Great Burning Man Gift Buttons!

If you can't read them, click on the picture...

What's up with me today?

I've got butterflies in my stomach... for a couple of reasons.

I've got Daft Punk stuck in my head.

I dreamt about hooping last night, so I'm going hooping with the kids in Cambridge later.

Been busy making costumes this week. Why couldn't I motivate myself before container loading?

9 days until launch. "It's an adventure... NOT a vacation!" Haha... I like that.

Gotta pay the cable bill tomorrow.

You say it's you and not me, but I'm not so sure. Don't know how long I can walk on these eggshells.

It's wicked windy outside right now.

This blueberry muffin is good, but it's not doing the trick.

Okay, after titling this post, the song stuck in my head is now "Up With Me" -Boys Night Out

There ain't no bugs on me. There ain't no bugs on me. There might be bugs on some of you mugs, but there ain't no bugs on me.

My car is making bad noises when I'm driving slowly. It's not the brakes. It doesn't sound good, and I can't afford to take it into the shop right now.

Haha!

Astronomy Geek/Burner Heaven!

As you have probably guessed already, there are two very important things in my life: astronomy and Burning Man.

I was very excited to learn that there will be a total lunar eclipse while I'm in the Black Rock Desert this year, but I just found out about another astronomical event that's got the potential to be even cooler! This meteor shower is only going to be visable from certain areas of Western Northern America (huh... the Black Rock Desert is in the very Northwestern corner of Nevada!). We'll be in a perfect spot for viewing this shower!!

The "playa" is far far away from regular city lights. We do have light polution from our own temporary city, though. I plan on venturing out to deep playa to try to get the best viewing spot possible.

I'm quoting from NASA's website. If you would like to read the whole article... http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2007/08aug_aurigids.htm

On Sept. 1, 2007, a flurry of bright and oddly-colored meteors might—emphasis on might--come streaming out of the constellation Auriga, putting on a beautiful early morning show for sky watchers in western North America.

The source of the putative shower is Comet Kiess (C/1911 N1), a mysterious "long-period comet" that has visited the inner solar system only twice in the past two thousand years. In 83 BC, give or take a few centuries, Comet Kiess swung by the sun and laid down a trail of dusty debris that has been drifting toward Earth's orbit ever since. On Sept. 1, 2007, the dusty trail and Earth will meet.

But will a shower actually materialize? The answer lies in the unknown contents of the debris stream.

"We have so little experience with ancient debris from long-period comets," notes Bill Cooke of NASA's Meteoroid Environment Office (MEO) at the Marshall Space Flight Center. "Almost anything could happen—from a fizzle to a beautiful meteor shower."

"We expect the outburst to peak at 11:36 UT (4:36 a.m. PDT) +/- 20 minutes on Sept. 1st. The whole event should last about 2 hours and be visible from California, Oregon, Hawaii and the eastern Pacific Ocean."

Earth has had at least three encounters with the debris stream in the past century—in 1935, 1986, and 1994. Unfortunately, few people were outdoors paying attention. The best observed encounter was in 1994 when veteran meteor watchers Bob Lunsford and George Zay of southern California witnessed a number of bright blue-green meteors emerging from Auriga. The brief shower was remarkable both for its conspicuous lack of faint meteors and for the vivid colors--characteristics that may be repeated on Sept. 1st.

Meteors from long-period comets are of special interest for two reasons:
#1 -- Long period comets almost always take us by surprise. They linger in the outer solar system, hiding in the dark for thousands or millions of years, until their slow orbits turn them sunward and--in they plunge! Because of this surprise factor, long period comets pose a unique impact threat. Jenniskens and others are keen to study meteor showers from long period comets because the showers could be a "tell" that a comet is out there, and the orbit of the meteoroids can reveal where.

#2 -- Meteors from long period comets may be very primitive. Consider the following: Most meteor showers (e.g., the Perseids and Leonids) are caused by short period comets, which pass through the inner solar system every few decades or, at most, centuries. Their icy surfaces are frequently heated and vaporized by intense sunlight, and the comet dust they produce is correspondingly fresh. Long period comets, on the other hand, are rarely sun-blasted, and their surfaces may retain ancient substances formed by billions of years of cosmic ray exposure in the outer solar system. Flakes from this "pristine crust" may produce odd colors when they hit Earth's atmosphere.

Is that why the Aurigid meteors of 1994 were blue-green? Were they bits of pristine crust from Comet Kiess? Again, no one knows.

Jenniskens notes that another meteor outburst, the alpha Monocerotids of 1995, also thought to hail from an unknown long-period comet, was strange: "The alpha-Monocerotids penetrated 5 km deeper in the atmosphere than other meteors of similar size and speed and they had [an unusually] low content of sodium."

To get to the bottom of some of these mysteries, Jenniskens and colleagues from the NASA Ames Research Center, Utah State University, the USAF Academy and elsewhere will board two private jets to observe the Aurigids from the clear air of 45,000 feet. They'll use spectrometers, cameras and telescopes to measure the velocity, penetration, and chemical composition of incoming meteoroids.

Bill Cooke of the MEO won't be on board, but he wishes the flyers well. "If this shower actually happens, they data they collect may tell us new things about an important population of meteoroids in the solar system. Plus, it would be a good show for people on the ground."

Above: Flight path of Jenniskens' airborne Aurigid observing campaign.

Another Anxiety Dream

Days Until Container Loading: 6
Days Until Launch: 18
Days Until The Man Burns: 26
Days Until Broke: -62



It happens every year before I go to the playa... I have Burning Man anxiety dreams. I wake up in a cold sweat, disturbed and upset. The dreams must happen because there is so much effort, thought, and money going into the planning and preparation for this event, and we all want it to go perfectly. I don't think I've ever met a burner who has not had these anxiety dreams.


The most common subject of my dreams is that I have arrived at Black Rock City without most of my gear; costumes, a tent, food and water, etc. Another recurring dream is that the man is accidentally set on fire prior to the event or towards the beginning of the week.


Last night, I had my worst anxiety dream yet. As usual, I arrived without some critical supplies (my brand new pink goggles among other things). Whatever. Been there, done that. I got to the playa a couple of days early when all the real hard core burners are there building and preparing for the week of mayhem, but in this dream, I had already been beating there by hundreds of thousands of "tourists". Tourists are the lame-ass fuckers who come to Burning Man only to be a spectator. They come to check out naked chicks, do drugs, and leave trash everywhere. They suck, and I hate them. I was standing on the Esplanade completely surrounded by a mob of them, and the sea of tourists stretched as far as the eye could see. I was seriously considering going home, but what a horrible thought!? To get all the way there, to the middle of freaking nowhere, after all that preparation and money spent, just to turn around and go home. Devastating.


Even though it was just a dream, and I concerned about this year and the future of Burning Man. We've been seeing more and more references to our little secretive event all over the television and in movies. In an episode of American Dad, the family ends up at Burning Man. In Robot Chicken, Bill Clinton and Snoop Dogg hijack Air Force One, and taunt W back at the White House, "We're going to Burning Man, woooo!" Also, in "Knocked Up", they make fun on their friend's scruffy beard by asking, "How was Burning Man this year, dude?"


It used to be that when I mentioned Burning Man to people, they had never heard of it. As time has gone on, more and more people seem to have at least heard of it. I guess that scares me a little. It was kinda nice being part of something incredibly special, known mostly to the most relevant people.


For many reasons, this is likely my last trip to Black Rock City. I'm afraid there will be a certain amount of reality to my dream. The last time I went, in 2005, I noticed a lot of tourists especially towards the end of the week. When you spot frat boys in khaki shorts, t-shirts, and baseball caps, you know something is definitely off.

I'll be sure to let you know how it turns out when I return. In the meantime, I'll continue to fall asleep and dream about everything going wrong at that far away place...

And kitty was like... "WTF, mate?!"

Kitty looked back at this mysterious creature. What was it? She had never seen one before. It was making strange sounds, and Kitty started wondering if she should get away from it. For some reason, she didn't.

Well Said.

Snorting Tequila in NYC

La Contessa

One of my very first pictures from my first Burning Man in 2003 is of me and several friends posing in front of La Contessa, one of the most creative art cars ever to come to the playa. The La Contessa was built by a group of burners from San Francisco- members and friends of the Extra Action Marching Band. Essentially, she was a Spanish Galliard built upon a school bus and adorned by a figurehead at the front of the ship. Inside, it was a picture of luxury: opulent, with a fancy bar, gilded frames, velvet trim — a cross between a fancy bordello and a captain's stateroom. At night, La Contessa would "sail" around the playa, full of costumed partiers, with Extra Action Marching Band drumming, playing, and dancing. La Contessa was driven by the "blind" captain who needed someone on deck with a walkie talkie to help steer the ship. It was bulky and hard to maneuver. Because of its ginormous size, La Contessa did not return to San Francisco after each Burning Man in the Nevada desert. It was simply too large and difficult to disassemble. In 2003, Joan Grant, a local land owner near the Burning Man site, welcomed La Contessa onto her land to spend the 51, non-Burning Man weeks of the year. At Burning Man 2004, La Contessa was banned from the playa for speeding and other generally unsafe activity.

Rewind to early 2003...

I was living in Houston, Texas. My good friend, Nick, invited me along on a trip to Austin to see a show: the Extra Action Marching Band. I hadn't heard of them before, but Nick convinced me that it was worth driving all the way to Austin to see them. At the time, I was unaware that Extra Action and La Contessa were connected at all. The show was awesome, but short. Imagine a marching band... on heroine. They spread out across the club, intermixed with the crowd, half-naked women danced, and there was quite a tribal or ritualistic atmosphere to their performance. We were talking to some of the band members after the show, and they said they were going to "storm" Emo's (a club further down 6th St) at 2am. Cool! We went out barhopping, and at 2am we headed to Emo's, but there was no Extra Action Marching Band in sight. Damn! What happened? Disheartened, we started to think about going home. The bars were closing, and there was nothing left to do. Just then, we heard the sound of drums. We walked over to see Extra Action starting to play far down an alley. We ran down, we were the first people there. The band played and we danced and frolicked. As other people were leaving the bars, they also were drawn down this alley, and soon there was a huge crowd of people crammed into this alley. Somehow, Robin and I ended up in the middle a circle of band members. We danced as a girl masturbated on top of a dumpster behind us. A memorable experience, to say the least.

Fast Foward to Burning Man 2004...

I searched for La Contessa and Extra Action Marching Band. Somehow, I managed to keep missing them. This was the most exclusive ride in town... aboard the La Contessa with Extra Action. Early one evening, just as the festivities were getting started, I heard the sound of drums coming from a neighboring camp. Extra Action! I jumped onto my playa bike, and rode after the sound. Again, I couldn't find them!! Frustrated from yet another failed attempt, I return to my camp and continued to get ready for my evening out on the town. The next morning, my friend Jim came to me with a horrible story. Just after I had left to go out for the night, Jim ran into Extra Action board La Contessa. he told them how there was this crazy girl from his camp that had been looking for them all week. They told Jim to quickly go find me, and I would be invited to sail with them that night. Jim came back to camp to find me, but I had already left. What heartbreak?! Shortly after that night, La Contessa was permantly docked and was not allowed to sail at Burning Man for safety violations. I had missed my chance.

Fast Foward to Summer 2006...

La Contessa rested on Joan Grant's land, and was looted. The sculpture that had adorned the front of the ship was packed away inside the hull, and was stolen. It is rumored that a picture of the sculpture was spotted on Tribe.net before people knew it had been stolen, and it still has not been recovered. San Francisco artist, Monica Maduro, asks that the sculpture be returned... no questions asked because it is the last remaining piece of La Contessa.

Joan Grant sold her land to her neighbor and local real estate tycoon, Mike Stewart; although she retained a lifelong lease of her ranch home, a provision she believed also applied to the art pieces she stored within sight of her home. Stewart is one of the biggest property owners in the region. In addition to possessing land and water rights that would be lucrative in any development project, he owns Orient Farms, Empire Farms, and a four-megawatt geothermal power plant.Stewart did not share the same passion for the Burning Man festival as Grant. In fact, Stewart led a legal and regulatory battle against Burning Man in 2003, trying unsuccessfully to shut down the Ranch and thus kill the event.

On December 5, 2006, without informing anyone of his intent, Stewart set fire to La Contessa and had the charred remains hauled away.

"My understanding was it was OK to park it there. But I guess he had it burned down," Grant told the SF Bay Guardian. "As far as I'm concerned, it was arson."

Burning Man spokesperson Marian Goodell said that Stewart never contacted the organization to request removal of La Contessa, and that if he had, it would have facilitated the piece's removal from the property. "We were surprised to hear about the fire, absolutely shocked," Goodell said.

Many people in the immediate area, including local residents and Burning Man organizers, find it hard to believe that Stewart's actions were not malicious in nature. A legal battle is ongoing, but it appears that there will not be criminal charges brought against Stewart.

In February 2007, Extra Action Marching Band and others from the San Francisco community held a viking funeral for La Contessa. Hundreds came to pay their respects and say their final goodbyes to this wonderful piece of Burning Man history.

Krypton Katy and Liquid Lauren Go To Marblehead

It twas a hot, stick, dirty day at Mad Science. After a long day of packing and moving boxes (and several spider bites), we were feeling pretty darn yucky.

"I want to go to the beach after work and go swimming." Liquid Lauren said.

"Wow!! That's an AWESOME idea!" Krypton Katy replied.

"You want to come?" asked Liquid Lauren. Krypton Katy paused and thought. Anything going on after work? Anything I have to do?

"Hell yeah! I'm in!" exclaimed Krypton Katy.

We had some logistical things to figure out, but by the time 4:30pm came along, we had everything set. Lauren already had her bathing suit in the car, but mine was at my house. She followed from Belmont down to Jamaica Plain where I quickly got changed into my bathing suit. By the time we hit the road for Marblehead, it was close to 5:30pm. We realized quickly, that the air temperature had majorly cooled down since we originally decided to go to the beach, but we came up with a great solution. We "hotboxed" the car. No no no, you degenerate! Not that kind of hotboxing. We kept the windows up, the air off, and we turned the Volvo into a sauna. We were sweating in there before too long!

The traffic on I-93 was the pits. Red brake lights as far as we could see.

"These poor people," Liquid Lauren said. "They're not driving off to do something cool like us. They're probably doing something boring... like going home from work." Eventually, we cleared the highway traffic only to get stuck in the quagmire that is the town of Salem.



Then we saw something amazing. Right there in Salem was... and I kid you not... "Bunghole Liquors". Bunghole Liquors????? Think about it... Bunghole, of course, is obvious enough. But the "liquor" part? Get the pun? Yeah, it took Lauren a moment, too. It made me think of Stephanie Miller's references to "Beaver Liquors" in Beaver Dam, Wisconsin. They must make a killing on t-shirt sales.

Anyway... we FINALLY made it to the beach in Marblehead (after 1 1/2 hours in the car). It was overcast, foggy, and 60 degrees, but we were NOT going to concede defeat! No way! We're fucking Liquid Lauren and Krypton Katy, damn it?!

We quickly stripped off our clothing, ran as fast as we could into the ocean, dunked our heads under the salty sea water, and got right the fuck out.

What a moment?! What a glorious moment?! Life doesn't get much better or more satisfying than that.

With wide smiles on our faces, we returned to Jamaica Plain. We kept chattering back and forth about how we could improve our after work beach trips in the future.

"I'm going to keep my bathing suit and a towel in my car all the time now." I said. "I'll drive next time."

Happy Aphelion!!!

You learned it in school, astronomers say it all the time, it's The Truth: "Earth circles the Sun." Well... almost.

Earth does go around the Sun, but not in a circle. Earth's orbit is an ellipse, a lopsided curve with one end closer to the Sun than the other. On July 7, 2007, our planet is at the distant end--a point astronomers call "aphelion." This puts us farther from the Sun than we are at any other time of year. All planets in our solar system travel around the Sun in elliptical orbits. It's Kepler's 1st Law. The eccentricity of Earth's orbit is 1.7%. In January when we're closest to the Sun (perihelion), the distance is 147.5 million km. In July we're 152.6 million km away--a five million kilometer difference.

A distant sun means less sunlight for our planet. Averaged over the globe, sunlight falling on Earth at aphelion is about 7% less intense than it is at perihelion.

Then why is it so warm outside?

Seasonal weather patterns are shaped primarily by the 23.5 degree tilt of our planet's spin axis, not by aphelion or perihelion. During northern summer the north pole is tilted toward the Sun. The Sun climbs high in the sky, and days are long. That's what makes July so hot.
But there's more to the story: the average temperature of the whole earth at aphelion is about 4 degrees higher than it is at perihelion. Our planet is actually warmer when we're farther from the Sun. Strange but true.

This happens because continents and oceans aren't distributed evenly around the globe. There's more land in the northern hemisphere and more water in the south. During the month of July the land-crowded northern half of our planet is tilted toward the Sun. Earth's temperature is slightly higher in July because the Sun is shining down on all that land, which heats up rather easily.

Physicists would say that continents have low heat capacity. Consider the desert. At night the desert is cold, perhaps only 60 F. When the Sun rises in the morning the temperature might jump to 100 F or more." Such mercurial behavior is characteristic of materials like rocks and soil with low heat capacity. It doesn't take much sunlight to substantially elevate their temperature.
Water is different. It has high heat capacity. Let's say you went sailing off Malibu Beach at noon. The offshore temperature might be 75 F -- pretty pleasant! What happens after sunset? The temperature drops, but only a few degrees because the heat capacity of the ocean is so high.
All this explains why July is our planet's warmest month: Northern continents baked by the aphelion Sun elevate the average temperature of the entire globe. January, on the other hand, is the coolest month because that's when our planet presents its water-dominated hemisphere to the Sun. We're closer to the Sun in January, but the extra sunlight gets spread throughout the oceans. Southern summer in January (perihelion) is therefore cooler than northern summer in July (aphelion).

If you're feeling baked, take a hint from the watery southern hemisphere. Locate the nearest swimming pool and dive in; feel the water's high heat capacity. A little physics can be refreshing ....

yuk yuk yuk...

Q: How does a banana answer the phone?

A: "Yellow?!"

Q: Why did the Italians lose the war?

A: Because they used ziti instead of shells!

Q: How do you stop a charging elephant?

A: You take away his credit cards!

Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

A: Because if it had four doors, it would be a sedan.

Q: What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?

A: No thanks. I'm stuffed.

Q: Why did the hotdog turn down the movie part?

A: Because the roll wasn't big enough!

Q: What do you call 400 bunnies hopping backwards together?

A: A receding hare line!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To show the squirrel it was even possible!

Q: Why does the traffic light turn red?

A: You would turn red too if you had to change in the middle of the street!

Q: Why did the man go out with a prune?

A: Because he couldn't find a date!

Q: What do you get when you cross a Grandma and an octopus?

A: I don't know, but it sure can play bingo!

Q: What did the tie say to the hat?

A: You go on ahead. I'll hang around.

Q: What did Snow White say as she waited for her photos to develop?

A: Someday my prints will come!

Q: What did the duck say when she bought lipstick?

A: Put it on my bill!

Q: What did Winnnie the Pooh say to his agent?

A: SHOW ME THE HONEEEEEEYYYY!!!!

Q: Why is it easy for little yellow chicks to talk?

A: Because talk is cheep!

Q: What happens to frogs when they park illegally?

A: They get toad.

Q: How was the Roman Empire Cut in half?

A: With a pair of Caesars!

Q: Who was bigger? Mr. Bigger or his son?

A: His son. (He was a little bigger!)

A lady, carrying her baby, got on a bus one day. The bus driver looked at the lady, and then her baby, and then yelled, "AHHH! That's the UGLIEST baby I have ever seen! YUCK!" The woman, completely shocked, stomped to the back of the bus and sat down. A man sitting nearby noticed that the woman was shaken up. "Excuse me, miss. Are you okay?" he asked. "No! I am not! That horrible bus driver just completely insulted me!" The man replied, "Well that's just not right. I think you should march back up to the front of the bus and give that bus driver a piece of your mind. I can watch your monkey for you."

Q: Why was the broom late for broom school?

A: Because he over swept!

Q: What kinds of ant is good at math?

A: An account-Ant!

Q: What goes zzub zzub zzub?

A: A bee flying backwards.

Q: Why did the snail paint a big "S" on the side of his car?

A: So people would see him drive by and say, "Look at that S car go!"

Two atoms were walking down the street together one day, having a jolly ol' time, when they accidentally bumped into each other. "Stop!" yelled one of the atoms. "Hold everything! I've lost an electron!" the second atom said, "Are you sure you lost it?" The first atom replied, "Yes! I'm positive!"

Q: What do you get when you cross and elephant with a skin doctor?

A: A pacadermatologist!

Q: How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?

A: Your nose is pressed up against the ceiling!

Q: Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?

A: Because it makes people break out!

Q: What did the mama cookie say when her baby got run over?

A: Oh crumbs.

A little girl goes to see the doctor. She's got a pea in one nostril, a grape in the other nostril, and a string bean stuck in her ear. She says to the doctor, "I don't feel so good, Doctor!" The doctor replies, "The problem is clear to me! You're not eating right!"

Q: How do bees get around the city?

A: They take the buzz.

Q: Why was the bee's hair sticky?

A: Because he used a honey comb!

Q: What do you get when you cross poison ivy and a four-leaf clover?

A: A rash of good luck.

Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the basketball team?

A: Because she ran away from the ball!

Eyes on the Sky: I saw the coolest thing last night!

The weatherman told me yesterday afternoon to look up at 9:21pm last night because the International Space Station would be floating right past the moon. I actually forgot about it until 9:10pm when I looked up at the sky anyway (because I do that a lot), saw the moon, and rememebered the ISS was about to pass over. SO, I sat down and turned my eyes up towards the moon. At 9:20pm, I saw it pass right by the moon. To tell you the truth, it wasn't all that impressive... probably because I'm in Boston with lots of light pollution, and there were scattered clouds about.

Then, the really cool thing happened. I was sitting on my porch with my friend John a few minutes later. We were discussing the space station and how long it might take it to orbit the earth. I looked up, and saw what I thought was the space station or some other satilite. I pointed it out to John, and right at that moment, it lit up very brightly for a few seconds!

John and I were perplexed for a few moments. Then it hit us. That was the space shuttle Atlantis!!! I knew that it had been docked with the ISS until Tuesday night when it left to begin its re-orbit in preparation for landing on Thursday. The brightening we saw was one of the re-orbit burns. The shuttle must decrease its speed as it prepares to land (while docked with the ISS, they are orbiting at a speed of 5 miles per second!). What an unexpected treat!!

LEGO Hollywood!

These are AMAZING!



LEGO Monty Python


LEGO Titanic Part 1


LEGO Titanic Part 2

I'm an astronomy geek.

Many nights, my eyes are on the skies. I've learned a lot about very nifty space phenomena... stuff I had never heard of before. Thought y'all might think it's cool, too!

Noctilucent Clouds (NLCs)

They hover on the edge of space. Thin, wispy clouds, glowing electric blue. Some scientists think they're seeded by space dust. Others suspect they're a telltale sign of global warming.
They're called noctilucent or "night-shining" clouds (NLCs). And whatever causes them, they're lovely. Noctilucent clouds are a relatively new phenomenon. They were first seen in 1885 about two years after the powerful eruption of Krakatoa hurled plumes of volcanic ash as much as 80 km high in Earth's atmosphere. One reason for the recent spread of noctilucent clouds might be global warming. Extreme cold is required to form ice in a dry environment like the mesosphere. Ironically, global warming helps. While greenhouse gases warm Earth's surface, they actually lower temperatures in the high atmosphere. NLCs were first spotted during the Industrial Revolution--a time of rising greenhouse gas production. They are most often spotted at higher latitudes.

The Names Have Been Changed To Protect HUGH BITCHES

Hi XXX,

I would like to give you my honest opinion of the party we had on Saturday so maybe it can be improved in the future. I really really wanted to like it, but it lacked real creativity. The only times the boys laughed were when the scientist dropped some of the products on the floor and a fly got caught in the putty she was making - 6 year old boy humor. They also like fart humor. Perhaps you could work some of that into the presentation as well. I actually made a comment that she could dropped as much shit as she wanted if that got the boys to laugh. Unfortunately, it only happened twice. We weren't looking for a ton of laughs, but if she hadn't made errors not a chuckle would have been heard! Not many wows either. The balloon experiment and fire experiment were the only real winners. Everyone has the soda bottles with colored liquid in their preschool classrooms and some of the mom's have even made them at home. Couldn't you have found something more exciting to do? The whole thing lasted 45 minutes, maybe less since it takes a few minutes to get the boys together.

It was a drop off party and only two mom's stayed for the scientist - we were laughing at how 'not so entertaining it was'. She seemed annoyed that we were standing in the back laughing at her, but she's an entertainer. She should be able to deal with heckling. The boys seemed to like it, but weren't overly excited. This target audience can get wowed very easily and this party didn't seem to bring out too much enthusiasm. More explosions? Parents have since asked me if this would be a good party to have for their child (who isn't thrilled to have a science party). I can honestly say I would not recommend this particular science party. I am being very honest because you would never be aware of this if you didn't get feedback from people like me.

Thanks again for all the work you did for us. We will probably never use you again.

Best Regards,
YYY
----

Dear YYY,

You are a bitch. I would prefer to call you a "big fucking C-word", but I think that might be too inappropriate. It's too bad we live in a society where just about ANYONE is allowed to have children if they so choose. If I ruled the universe, I would institute a policy where couples must apply for licenses to have children. I would personally make sure that you never received one. If parents were found to be big fucking assholes like this, their licenses would be revoked and their children taken away. Perhaps a hefty fine as well? I would also like to see jail time for such offenses, but I gotta be realistic.

I am amused by your comment that your "really really wanted to like it". I get the impression that you're a sour, unhappy bitch who is trapped in a loveless marriage and have shit-eating spoiled children. I can understand that you're reaching out for things in life to make you happy because you are so utterly UNHAPPY. I can't help but feel sorry for you. You know what you need? You need a coke habit. It's done wonders for me. I've never been happier in my whole life. You should also try whoring yourself out. It sounds like you need a regular pounding. I get that myself, but thankfully, I don't have to whore myself out to get it. But hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Thanks again for choosing XXX XXXXXXX.
XXX

How to fix ANY computer problem in 1 min 14 sec

My instructional video on how to fix ALL computer problems... all in 1 minute and 14 seconds. I hope it helps!

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Creamy Crack Recipe

I realize posting this recipe may make my personal popularity index go down. Fuck it. Creamy Crack should be FREE and for the people.

The story behind Creamy Crack: I used to live in Houston, and I frequented "Chuy's" Tex-Mex restaurant at least twice a month (usually more). Along with the two wicked awesome salsas served with fresh tortilla chips before the meal, you could also (if you were "in-the-know" like me) order free-of-charge their Creamy Jalapeno dip. I fell in love. I've never loved something quite like this before.

When I moved from Houston back to Boston, I knew I couldn't live without it. My dad and spent a summer experimenting with and developing our very own version on this addictive yummy "Creamy Crack". I have no idea if it's remotely the same as the original any more- it's been so long since I've had a steak burrito with creamy jalapeno at Chuy's! *sniffle sniffle* But who cares? My recipe ROCKS!

Enjoy (or loathe because you just can't enough to fulfill your cravings)!!

Katy's Creamy Crack!

3-4 whole jalapeno peppers
2-3 cloves of garlic
juice of 1 lime
1 cup Milk
1 cup Mayonnaise
1 packet Ranch dressing/dip mix
Black pepper to taste

In the blender, chop peppers, garlic, lime juice. Add milk and mayo and blend to a creamy texture. If the mixture seems thin, don't add mayo to thicken it. Add in ranch mix and pepper to taste. Allow Creamy Crack to chill in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes. It should thicken up a little.

Creamy Crack is especially good for dip, on sandwiches, on fajitas, and steaks. ¡Es sabroso en casi cualquier cosa!

Let me get this straight.

Let me get this straight. People are making a HUGE fucking deal out of Lindsay Lohan's 21st birthday? While we were in Vegas, we stopped by Ceasar's Palace and saw this gigantic sign up in front of "Pure", their nightclub. Check this out, the bitch is in REHAB right now, correct? Svedka Vodka is sponsoring this shindig, and they are saying it should be one of the best parties ever. Oh yeah, she is now a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, despite not yet being legally old enough to drink... well until July 2nd that is.

Here is an actual quote from Lindsay herself: “I’m going to milk it,” she said. “It’s a big birthday and I think it’s been a long time in coming for my friends in L.A. who have clubs … (soon they won’t) have to worry about getting in trouble because I’m underage.”

WTF? Can someone explain this to me please?

Back by popular demand!! Queen Bee Bitchings and Musings!

Haha! I had quite the response to yesterday's Queen Bee post. So, here it is. BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND! MORE QUEEN BEE RANTING!

I've come to the conclusion that Carol does not like Sam or I... mostly because we don't take her bullshit. We like to talk back to her, and she just can't handle it. We don't even do all that much; usually just little battles here and there. I get the impression that Carol isn't used to it. At all.

Call me mean, call me nasty, call me whatever you want. I will vent my frustrations here. It may seem like I'm being a bitch myself, and I'm sorry to appear that way, but trust me... put me up next to Carol, and I'm Dorothy from the Wizard of fucking Oz.

Sam and I were not invited out to a friend's birthday dinner tonight. This friend is VERY close to all of us. We were not even told about it until basically every one was leaving the house and after Sam and I ate leftovers from last night. Now, maybe there were circumstances we're not aware of... naaaawwww bullshit! We were not invited because Carol is a big vindictive bitch! I'm not starving to death, nor would I be all gung-ho about spending a lot of money on dinner tonight, but you know what I'm saying. It's the principal of the thing. This goes along with the theme of Carol's breaking of all social rules and regulations. When EVERYONE from a communal house is going out to dinner for a close friend's birthday dinner, EVERYONE should be invited, right? (Unless, of course, someone is obviously unavailable or something) So what gives?

Did you know I watched her drink salad dressing straight from the bottle one time?

And SHIT! You should have seen what she picked out to wear tonight. *YAK!!!* The funny part was that she kept changing and modelling outfits for her gay (I think) friend, and she ended up wearing what she did. Let's just say this: The shirt itself was wicked cute, but seeing it on Carol made me want to hurl so much that I would implode from the force of it. What the hell was the gay (again... I think) friend thinking?? Isn't he supposed to have an elevated sense of style? You know, fuck the whole gay friend thing, too. If you have two working eyes and the mental capacity of Corky from Life Goes On, you should say, "Bitch, you better take that off right this instant! In fact, take it off, go lock yourself in the closet, and don't come out until they've invented medicine to cure what is wrong with you!!"

She makes friendship bracelets. You know, the ones you made in 5th grade. Nuff said there.

Okay, I think I'm spent for the time being. I'm SURE I will have more for you very soon. In the mean time, leave me a fucking comment, you lazy bitches! I want to hear your input!

Kameko's Korner

NEW! Check out Kameko's Korner further down on the right. Kameko demanded that she get in on this blog thing. I didn't really want to inflate her ego any more, but if you've met Kameko, you KNOWit's impossible to say no to her in the end. Come on... just look at that face!