Today's Edition of Katy with a Y's favorite LOL Cats

Teddy? WTF???

So I was cleaning my room tonight, and I found my old teddy bear, "Teddy". I looked at him and thought, "What the hell happened to you???"

Let me tell you a couple of things about this teddy bear. First off... I still remember the first time I saw it. We were at a craft fair or flea market- something like that- and from the moment I laid eyes on Teddy... I knew I had to have him. The next thing I remember is throwing a complete hissy fit at my parents until they they agreed that it was worth $15 for me to shut up.

One more silly fun fact about me and teddy... I once tried playing hide-and-go-seek with just me and teddy. I hid him in the chest by our front door. I didn't find him again for over a month. What was my IQ at that age?? haha

I remember one incident for sure... my cousin's golden retriever, Sandy, got a hold of him once at the Cape house and gave him a good lickin'. However, WHEN THE FUCK DID HE GET AN AUTOPSY, HOW AND WHY???

Ideas? Theories? I'd love to hear them. Perhaps Teddy's sad history is buried deep in my subconscious... along with other childhood memories!!!

I'm giving a special award to whoever comes up with the best story!!!! (submissions due via blog comment 12/31/2007 11:59pm)

Today's Edition of Katy with a Y's favorite LOL Cats

Seriously?

Dr. Strangelove Quote Rings True

Major T.J. "King" Kong: "Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff. "

Or a few good days out at Burning Man with all that stuff. Too bad they've banned firearms. I also recommend more than one issue of prophylactics!

Really Great Burning Man Gift Buttons!

If you can't read them, click on the picture...

Haha!

And kitty was like... "WTF, mate?!"

Kitty looked back at this mysterious creature. What was it? She had never seen one before. It was making strange sounds, and Kitty started wondering if she should get away from it. For some reason, she didn't.

Snorting Tequila in NYC

Krypton Katy and Liquid Lauren Go To Marblehead

It twas a hot, stick, dirty day at Mad Science. After a long day of packing and moving boxes (and several spider bites), we were feeling pretty darn yucky.

"I want to go to the beach after work and go swimming." Liquid Lauren said.

"Wow!! That's an AWESOME idea!" Krypton Katy replied.

"You want to come?" asked Liquid Lauren. Krypton Katy paused and thought. Anything going on after work? Anything I have to do?

"Hell yeah! I'm in!" exclaimed Krypton Katy.

We had some logistical things to figure out, but by the time 4:30pm came along, we had everything set. Lauren already had her bathing suit in the car, but mine was at my house. She followed from Belmont down to Jamaica Plain where I quickly got changed into my bathing suit. By the time we hit the road for Marblehead, it was close to 5:30pm. We realized quickly, that the air temperature had majorly cooled down since we originally decided to go to the beach, but we came up with a great solution. We "hotboxed" the car. No no no, you degenerate! Not that kind of hotboxing. We kept the windows up, the air off, and we turned the Volvo into a sauna. We were sweating in there before too long!

The traffic on I-93 was the pits. Red brake lights as far as we could see.

"These poor people," Liquid Lauren said. "They're not driving off to do something cool like us. They're probably doing something boring... like going home from work." Eventually, we cleared the highway traffic only to get stuck in the quagmire that is the town of Salem.



Then we saw something amazing. Right there in Salem was... and I kid you not... "Bunghole Liquors". Bunghole Liquors????? Think about it... Bunghole, of course, is obvious enough. But the "liquor" part? Get the pun? Yeah, it took Lauren a moment, too. It made me think of Stephanie Miller's references to "Beaver Liquors" in Beaver Dam, Wisconsin. They must make a killing on t-shirt sales.

Anyway... we FINALLY made it to the beach in Marblehead (after 1 1/2 hours in the car). It was overcast, foggy, and 60 degrees, but we were NOT going to concede defeat! No way! We're fucking Liquid Lauren and Krypton Katy, damn it?!

We quickly stripped off our clothing, ran as fast as we could into the ocean, dunked our heads under the salty sea water, and got right the fuck out.

What a moment?! What a glorious moment?! Life doesn't get much better or more satisfying than that.

With wide smiles on our faces, we returned to Jamaica Plain. We kept chattering back and forth about how we could improve our after work beach trips in the future.

"I'm going to keep my bathing suit and a towel in my car all the time now." I said. "I'll drive next time."

yuk yuk yuk...

Q: How does a banana answer the phone?

A: "Yellow?!"

Q: Why did the Italians lose the war?

A: Because they used ziti instead of shells!

Q: How do you stop a charging elephant?

A: You take away his credit cards!

Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

A: Because if it had four doors, it would be a sedan.

Q: What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?

A: No thanks. I'm stuffed.

Q: Why did the hotdog turn down the movie part?

A: Because the roll wasn't big enough!

Q: What do you call 400 bunnies hopping backwards together?

A: A receding hare line!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To show the squirrel it was even possible!

Q: Why does the traffic light turn red?

A: You would turn red too if you had to change in the middle of the street!

Q: Why did the man go out with a prune?

A: Because he couldn't find a date!

Q: What do you get when you cross a Grandma and an octopus?

A: I don't know, but it sure can play bingo!

Q: What did the tie say to the hat?

A: You go on ahead. I'll hang around.

Q: What did Snow White say as she waited for her photos to develop?

A: Someday my prints will come!

Q: What did the duck say when she bought lipstick?

A: Put it on my bill!

Q: What did Winnnie the Pooh say to his agent?

A: SHOW ME THE HONEEEEEEYYYY!!!!

Q: Why is it easy for little yellow chicks to talk?

A: Because talk is cheep!

Q: What happens to frogs when they park illegally?

A: They get toad.

Q: How was the Roman Empire Cut in half?

A: With a pair of Caesars!

Q: Who was bigger? Mr. Bigger or his son?

A: His son. (He was a little bigger!)

A lady, carrying her baby, got on a bus one day. The bus driver looked at the lady, and then her baby, and then yelled, "AHHH! That's the UGLIEST baby I have ever seen! YUCK!" The woman, completely shocked, stomped to the back of the bus and sat down. A man sitting nearby noticed that the woman was shaken up. "Excuse me, miss. Are you okay?" he asked. "No! I am not! That horrible bus driver just completely insulted me!" The man replied, "Well that's just not right. I think you should march back up to the front of the bus and give that bus driver a piece of your mind. I can watch your monkey for you."

Q: Why was the broom late for broom school?

A: Because he over swept!

Q: What kinds of ant is good at math?

A: An account-Ant!

Q: What goes zzub zzub zzub?

A: A bee flying backwards.

Q: Why did the snail paint a big "S" on the side of his car?

A: So people would see him drive by and say, "Look at that S car go!"

Two atoms were walking down the street together one day, having a jolly ol' time, when they accidentally bumped into each other. "Stop!" yelled one of the atoms. "Hold everything! I've lost an electron!" the second atom said, "Are you sure you lost it?" The first atom replied, "Yes! I'm positive!"

Q: What do you get when you cross and elephant with a skin doctor?

A: A pacadermatologist!

Q: How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?

A: Your nose is pressed up against the ceiling!

Q: Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?

A: Because it makes people break out!

Q: What did the mama cookie say when her baby got run over?

A: Oh crumbs.

A little girl goes to see the doctor. She's got a pea in one nostril, a grape in the other nostril, and a string bean stuck in her ear. She says to the doctor, "I don't feel so good, Doctor!" The doctor replies, "The problem is clear to me! You're not eating right!"

Q: How do bees get around the city?

A: They take the buzz.

Q: Why was the bee's hair sticky?

A: Because he used a honey comb!

Q: What do you get when you cross poison ivy and a four-leaf clover?

A: A rash of good luck.

Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the basketball team?

A: Because she ran away from the ball!

LEGO Hollywood!

These are AMAZING!



LEGO Monty Python


LEGO Titanic Part 1


LEGO Titanic Part 2

The Names Have Been Changed To Protect HUGH BITCHES

Hi XXX,

I would like to give you my honest opinion of the party we had on Saturday so maybe it can be improved in the future. I really really wanted to like it, but it lacked real creativity. The only times the boys laughed were when the scientist dropped some of the products on the floor and a fly got caught in the putty she was making - 6 year old boy humor. They also like fart humor. Perhaps you could work some of that into the presentation as well. I actually made a comment that she could dropped as much shit as she wanted if that got the boys to laugh. Unfortunately, it only happened twice. We weren't looking for a ton of laughs, but if she hadn't made errors not a chuckle would have been heard! Not many wows either. The balloon experiment and fire experiment were the only real winners. Everyone has the soda bottles with colored liquid in their preschool classrooms and some of the mom's have even made them at home. Couldn't you have found something more exciting to do? The whole thing lasted 45 minutes, maybe less since it takes a few minutes to get the boys together.

It was a drop off party and only two mom's stayed for the scientist - we were laughing at how 'not so entertaining it was'. She seemed annoyed that we were standing in the back laughing at her, but she's an entertainer. She should be able to deal with heckling. The boys seemed to like it, but weren't overly excited. This target audience can get wowed very easily and this party didn't seem to bring out too much enthusiasm. More explosions? Parents have since asked me if this would be a good party to have for their child (who isn't thrilled to have a science party). I can honestly say I would not recommend this particular science party. I am being very honest because you would never be aware of this if you didn't get feedback from people like me.

Thanks again for all the work you did for us. We will probably never use you again.

Best Regards,
YYY
----

Dear YYY,

You are a bitch. I would prefer to call you a "big fucking C-word", but I think that might be too inappropriate. It's too bad we live in a society where just about ANYONE is allowed to have children if they so choose. If I ruled the universe, I would institute a policy where couples must apply for licenses to have children. I would personally make sure that you never received one. If parents were found to be big fucking assholes like this, their licenses would be revoked and their children taken away. Perhaps a hefty fine as well? I would also like to see jail time for such offenses, but I gotta be realistic.

I am amused by your comment that your "really really wanted to like it". I get the impression that you're a sour, unhappy bitch who is trapped in a loveless marriage and have shit-eating spoiled children. I can understand that you're reaching out for things in life to make you happy because you are so utterly UNHAPPY. I can't help but feel sorry for you. You know what you need? You need a coke habit. It's done wonders for me. I've never been happier in my whole life. You should also try whoring yourself out. It sounds like you need a regular pounding. I get that myself, but thankfully, I don't have to whore myself out to get it. But hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Thanks again for choosing XXX XXXXXXX.
XXX

How to fix ANY computer problem in 1 min 14 sec

My instructional video on how to fix ALL computer problems... all in 1 minute and 14 seconds. I hope it helps!

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Meh. Tuesday.

A listener of the Stephanie Miller show wrote a great jingle for the occassion of Scooter Libby's jail sentencing. Give me a buzz, and I'll sing it for you.

"Scooter Libby Libby Libby's going to jail. JAIL! JAIL!

He will take it take it take it in the tail. TAIL! TAIL!

Scooter Libby Libby Libby had some power. POWER! POWER!

Better hold onto the soap in the shower. SHOWER! SHOWER!"